Friday, July 19, 2013

Busted - again!


This is quickly turning into a marketing nightmare!
Turns out that those background Sharks are nothing but an optical illusion - because the latest, greatest, life-saving science teaches us that they simply cannot be there!
Watch this!

Wow - see?
Black and white stripes = no Sharks! 

Yes it's that simple!
And please, don't argue - once a veritable Professor (!) has given his seal of approval, that's the end of the discussion full stop!

And there's more!
Since those Sharks can't see from far but only perceive things in the last few seconds before the attack, it also unequivocally follows that the infamous nikitating membrane is a) either transparent or more likely, b) never existed in the first place! Elementary my dear Watson!
Ain't science a wonderful thing!

So what about those Sea Snakes.
This is obviously a bold-faced lie, and this video simply did not happen - and shame on AIMS for aiding and abetting such a shameless hoax!

At first glance, it comes across as a rather epic multidisciplinary tour the force that even includes cultural anthropology no less!
But beware - the guy is quite obviously nothing but a brazen liar and moocher who wants to make himself important and is angling for fame and possibly even royalty payments! In going with a remarkable, and equally frequent bonmot by one of the greatest luminaries in Shark conservation, one does not need a Ph.D. to figure that his story is just simply impossible because the Professor (!) has only made his groundbreaking scientific discovery now!

Long story short?
Buy that Shark repellent wetsuit as it will save your life - as unequivocally proven here!
Any GWS barreling up at 100 miles per hour because it has mistaken you for a Seal and wants to eat you only wants to give you a hug will immediately cease and desist, inches away, because it will realize that you're actually a venomous Sea Snake on a surf board!

And that's a promise!

H/T: Lindsay and especially, Johann! Merci!


Sam Cahir said...

I purchased mine at the first available opportunity and will be loving my new ability to swim carefree amongst the friendly Great Whites of the Neptune Islands, South Australia, safe in the knowledge I'm off the menu.

DaShark said...

I'm sure Andrew will appreciate the opportunity of you posing for some epic, and highly lucrative shots!

Roger Lane said...

Hey lads, sorry to burst your conspiracy theory bubble but sharks are only known to eat the smaller or juvenile species of sea snakes while leaving the fully grown/ adult ones alone. Therefore a human in big stripes probably isn't on the menu for them.

Heard of Walter Starck? He reckons a black and white pattern may appear to sharks as disconnected objects.

Anyway, would be interested to see the SAMS research on shark eyesight. They discovered sharks are colourblind apparently.

DaShark said...

Here's a piece of free advice buddy.

If you don't want to look stupid when commenting on a blog post, why don't you first read the whole post inclusive of all links.

And yes, apparently Sharks are color blind - the point being...?

Roger Lane said...

Mate all I'm saying is your analysis on the sea snake thing doesn't really have any relevance.

A human wearing stripes would appear completely differently to a sea snake given the size difference. I would have thought that is pretty obvious but hey..

Not sure why you're getting so defensive.

DaShark said...

Not defensive - irritated that you haven't read the whole post.

There are several posts on the subject, this one and then, this one, this one and this one.

There are two wetsuit manufacturers.
One claims that the stripes deter because they remind the Sharks of Banded Sea Snakes.
As you correctly remark, that's total nonsense as Sharks are never going to interpret an ungainly, noisy diver or a surfer for which the striped pattern is specifically designed as some giant species of Sea Snake.

The Australian manufacturers base their claims on assertions by researchers at UWA's Oceans Institute and School of Animal Biology that, and I cite
The other design - the ‘warning' wetsuit - makes the user appear highly visible by using disruptive and high contrast banding patterns to make them appear totally unlike any normal prey, or even as an unpalatable or dangerous option.

Sea Snakes (including adults!) are the normal and sometimes even preferred prey of Tiger Sharks, and there is evidence from SA that GWS (that have not been tested and are the predominant perpetrators of strikes on surfers) actually prefer Seal decoys featuring black-and-white stripes.

It's total unsubstantiated bullshit.
They need to at least wait til they have finished their testing that must involve GWS and needs to then be published in the peer-reviewed literature.