Tuesday, January 15, 2013

2012 - The Bad and the Ugly: Track back!

So there - here comes the juicy part!


You have been warned!

1. Track back

Last year's list is here!

  • Shark Research Institute.

    The Jersey Girl, the remarkable prez (Film maker, German TV star and one of the top 26 Shark experts on the planet no less!) and the other featured names, or whatever, continue to shine through... wait for it.... NOTHING!
    Did they once again mooch off other peoples' achievements? Who knows and frankly, who cares! And this? Q.e.d, see above under Shark Con! So don't be a sucker - and should you want to donate to a REAL Shark research institute, choose one that actually DOES engage in research and send your money to Doc's Shark Lab!

    But THIS is scary!
    Remember the Doha fiasco?
    Has there been a moment of accountability and reflection, and have the lessons be learned?

    The question then and now is
    Have the Shark conservationists met, are they coordinating their efforts and pooling their resources, and are they going to be sending their best, most seasoned negotiators to represent the whole Shark conservation movement - or are we going to see yet again the same convention tourism by yet again the same motley uncoordinated naïve and clueless group of amateurs who will pay themselves a trip to Bangkok in order to protest, pontificate and vociferate?
    And in the case of the SRI, I hear: hobnob, small talk and sippy champagny?

    Take a wild guess!
    I've talked to a lot of people who have attended Doha and their assessment of the SRI delegation has been nothing short of DEVASTATING - and now those folks want to do it again!
    I mean, seriously, just go and check out Jupp's Facebook page that is all about the SSCS and zero about the SRI (= because there's NOTHING to report - q.e.d. again!), and look at the righteous platitudes, populist hogwash and Watson-esque poetry he chooses to propagate - from the PRESIDENT of a Shark RESEARCH Institute?!? Seriously!!!

    And THOSE are the people that are asking for your money to go and represent YOU?

  • Shark Angels.

    Turns out that I was wrong in lumping them all together!
    There are valiant members who shine through brilliant advocacy at the grassroots level, and the Franco-Belgian chapter is actually quite impressive - so kudos to them.
    South Africa? Meh - it's one year later and STILL zero results!

    And then there's the Californian outlayer consisting of Andersen and her claque of sycophantic half-sized bimbos sporting black-dyed chicken feathers (seriously!) and rabid vegan sea shepherdettes that are frankly a bloody disgrace - see Part Four under Operation Requiem!

    The question being: is that even Shark Angels - and do the other legit members want to be associated with that whacky shit?
    And if not: maybe one should get rid of the narcissism and the KRAZY and boot her out, just like Shark Savers have done a long time ago, only to emerge much improved and way more credible in the process?

  • United Conservationists

    What if conservation became easier than rallies, protests, radical groups and letter writing? What if the ability to save ecosystems, species and ultimately humanity was put into your hands and was as easy as the click of the mouse? What if the power returned to the people? What if we united and started a revolution to save the planet, and ultimately ourselves?

    Yeah, right - WHAT IF!
    Long story short: NOBODY GIVES A SHIT - thankfully!
    There's now, I hear, a movie nobody apart from daddy's paid journalists has watched; a book nobody apart from daddy's paid journalists has read; a campaign that is unraveling (and here); a REVOLUTION that ain't happening; a non-for-profit (maybe!) without a board now that mummy and daddy have stepped away; and a guru-esque salesman who has fallen victim to his own marketing - which also covers what I've written under Personality Cults one year ago!
    Hell, it is so bad that even Andersen has fled the sinking ship!
    Time to shut this down and go get an honest job, how about that!

  • The California Shark Fin Ban is holding.

    For now!
    The way I read it, an injunction has been rejected pending the case proper - or was this the final judgement? If so, phewww; if not, good luck - and I mean it!

    And this being CALIFORNIA, the Sharktivists have already embarked on the next flawed Shark conservation initiative - see the next section!

  • Erik the Mad Hatter of Sharkitarianism.

    My research into sharks lead me to a ground breaking and shocking scientific discovery and I spent years of research with scientists and experts around the world to get all of the data down for my book, "The Sixth Extinction". What I have written is by far the most powerful conservation book and in fact the most important book that anyone will ever read.

    Excerpt below!

  • ABC4

    I must say, he really IS a great shooter - watch this.

    I will never like the riding and am really disappointed that GoPro promotes that shit to their thousands upon thousands of customers.

    But overall, excellent stuff!
    And, people tell me that this year, he has not partaken in any outright Shark porn!

    And still, I just don't like or trust the man - which I'm sure causes him countless sleepless nights :)
    E.g., does one really have to pander to the loons and trolls in order to belong, or whatever?

  • Discovery Channel

    I once signed the boycott petition and don't watch that shit unless somebody tells me I have to - and nobody has. I hear that things are slowly improving, which is good news indeed.

  • Erich Ritter

    He's still at it!
    After more than a decade of spouting pseudoscience, we're STILL waiting for the GROSSE WURF, the rolling out of his seminal peer-reviewed paper on his visionary THEORY OF EVERYTHING on Shark-human interaction!

    Instead, he has written a BOOK - ANOTHER one! Yay!
    No I'm not posting titles and links lest I be accused of aiding and abetting - just this: would you buy a book purporting to teach you about Bird-human, or Mammal-human interaction - get the gist? Not to mention the fact that he really hasn't got a leg to stand on - those very same lunatic hypotheses have already been falsified by a hungry Bull Shark nearly a decade ago, camera running!
    Anyway, see below!

    A friend who has watched it writes, That's 6 minutes and 42 seconds of my life I will never get back!.
    Indeed - you have been warned!

    In the presence of Bull Sharks in shallow water: Recommendation: STAND STILL!
    WOW - pass the coochie to the left hand side!

To be continued!

PS: Check out Part One, Part Two and Part Four!


jsd said...

That's 10 minutes of fun that I will certainly get back on re-reading.

Here's some 'info' from the press release of Professor Hopalot's book with my comments in square brackets:-

'Concisely packed with factual knowledge [:-#] and explanations [!!!!!} of the latest discovered [?!?!?!] behavioral patterns [:-0], tested recommendations [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] and interception rules [:-/], this [self-published] book is your comprehensive [:-(] guide [!!!!] on how to act [!!!!!] and react [!!!!!!!] around the 30 [?] species of shark that you are most likely to encounter worldwide.'

DaShark said...

TESTED recommendations!!!

I mean, you can't make these things up can you!

OfficetoOcean said...

In this anodyne world where the fear of causing offence has snuffed out much of the independent thought, expression and anger in the world, this is always a good reminder that not everyone feels the need to be a sycophantic "yes" man.

A very enjoyable and amusing read.

Jeremy, you made me laugh, particularly picturing you making those facial expressions after each point! However, from what you say, that book seems like an open door for the morons of the world to test out their newly learned shark behaviour expertise on their annual diving holiday and that is a quite frightening thought, a world of Ritter-lite shark molesters...The sharks must be thrilled.

jsd said...

Yes, indeed, David. Ritter can have his own appendages re-worked by sharks for all I care but he lures members of the public into participating in his fatuous stunts because they have been fooled into presuming his woo woo has been scientifically established.

A few years ago Dr. Gruber and I wrote TWICE to the then head of SRI's GSAF because Ritter is one of their 'researchers', pointing out that he was endangering the lives of others. We received no reply. I have, incidentally, since then received an abusive email from Jupp the president of SRI!!!

Anonymous said...

At 4.35 in the video above, Ritter is performing a groundbreaking scientific experiment to see if a man wearing a bikini is safe from shark attack.

OfficetoOcean said...

Erich missed the most important piece of advice, a piece of advice I first heard from a very wise man...

"In order to understand the predator, one must first become the predator"

It's almost like something you'd hear from the mouth of Confusci... Confush...Confuscho...Conf... that Chinese guy.

DaShark said...

Yup - as always he's the visionary trailblazer!

Remember this shit?

DaShark said...

David - that's interesting indeed!

Mind elaborating on the specific circumstances that have inspired the man to proffer this unmatched pearl of wisdom?

OfficetoOcean said...

No let's not, we shall keep that a mystery as far as the internet is concerned :D

OfficetoOcean said...

By the way, I still haven't seen Nat Geo Shark Attack Experiment Live, I wanna see it to see what they did with it, any download links anywhere?