Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Punter without Pokey Stick!

Sustainable Shark Diving = throwing punters into the water and hoping that they will make it back alive?

When will somebody finally start using his brain - maybe after the next accident?


Dr Professor Dr Erich Rittter PhD said...

The tiger shark was trying to kiss the diver's nice, juicy, dangly leg. You can tell because as it tries to bite, sorry, kiss, it twists into the Shark Erotic Posture no 13 - hot, eh?

The same thing happened to me at Walker's Cay with a bull shark (though it chose the Shark Erotic Posture no 24). And of course my spotter failed to shout out 'Watch out Dr Professor Dr Erich PhD - there's a shark about to kiss you and it's displaying Shark Erotic Posture 24 - it's tongues!'. Damn but Number 24 is sneaky - the snuggling up to you from behind with the snout, closing the eye, the timid little first peck and then WHAM! hits you with the biggy - no dinner, no dancing, no candles. Nothing except all that testosterone. Next thing you know you are bleeding to death.

But they don't mean to kiss you to death. Never. They have the same problem with all the other creatures of the sea. Sharks go round kissing them and then they die so sharks, being harmless scavengers, think, 'Oh Well, it's dead so I might as well eat it'. They keep the oceans neat and tidy. Of course, if their prey, sorry, victim, sorry lover isn't dead, they might kiss it again a few times. But I can look at the kiss marks and PROVE the motivation was nothing to do with feeding. Damn, they are friendly - and all they really want to do is control the planet's oxygen supply.

Of course idiots think sharks kisses are shark attacks. But I am the only Self Appointed Self Promoted Adore Interactive Field Underwater Posture Interpret Biology Psychology Body Language Shark Scuba Sane Adult Erotic Global Shark Applied Expert in the world so I must be right. I mean look at the cute face of that tiger shark. Such a big, sad eye. How could anyone not want to kiss that?

DaShark said...


Sehr gut! :)

Horizon Charters Guadalupe Cage Diving said...

I think Dr Ritter is right. It makes so much sense to me now. Oh, Great St Elmo's Fire, how could I have been so foolishly wrong about Tigers!?

Ben said...

That's ridiculous, and even after the shark tries to bite him, they still stay underwater?

DaShark said...

Ben, that's probably OK as the way I see it, that Shark snapped as it got irritated.

What is not OK is seeing a gaggle of unsupervised and obviously green divers mucking around a bait crate, with big dangerous predators swimming among them.
I blame the operator, not them as they obviously don't know better.

jsd said...

And then there is this:-


...If these sharks are 'choosing to interact with us' then why does it take a crate of bait to attract them in and why do you have to be next to the crate?

Turning sharks into what they are not with sentimental hogwash, throwing away caution and common sense, making yourself the centre of attention for as long as you get away with it -I'm sick of it.

jsd2 said...

Eli is totally unique. One might even say special.

Everything you need to know about him and what he thinks of sharks you can get from the backwards facing baseball cap.

Unknown said...

Well I'm sorry but I have to agree! I'd love to see how much interaction would happen if he moved away from that little black box!

DaShark said...

Don't be sorry Daniel! :)

The only sorry fact is that after 3+ years, NOTHING WHATSOEVER has changed!